Apr 21, 20225 min read

"Parental Rights in Education" or "Don't Say Gay" - Which is it?

There is news coming out of Florida of a new Law "Parental Rights in Education" bill.

The bill states, "Classroom instruction by school personnel or third parties on sexual orientation or gender identity may not occur in kindergarten through grade 3 or in a manner that is not age-appropriate or developmentally appropriate for students in accordance with state standards."

Supporters of the legislation say it's meant to allow parents to determine when and in what way to introduce LGBTQ+ topics to their children. It also gives parents an option to sue a school district if the policy is violated.

It got me thinking...

Who talked to me about sexual orientation or gender identity?

Hmmm...do you remember talking to your parents about your sexual feelings, desires, heck even those questions you had when your body was changing in weird ways and you were like, "What is that? That can't be normal?!" I don't think so.

Did your parents have a talk with you about gay couples and transgender and all those confusing topics? I doubt it.

I figured things out by what I saw around me. If I saw something on TV or heard it in a song or saw it in a magazine. I might have experimented with my friends. All of us nervously looking at what we all have in common - or not. I was curious, but also scared. When I felt safe, I might ask questions, but I did not often feel safe, so I learned things from just randomly picking them up.

That is not a good thing in today's society with so much different and confusing content out there.

I feel especially lucky because one of my childhood friends turned out to be gay and when I look back, I can see the signs. At the time though, he was the most fun, the coolest, just the greatest, and I kinda had a crush on him for a little bit. But I knew that he was an awesome, caring, loving, person and who he loved did not change a thing about who he was to me, or how much I adored him.

I would guess that most parents either feel too uncomfortable to talk about sexual orientation or gender identity with their child or will just have the 'boys are boys' and 'girls are girls' kind of talk. Unfortunately, for some children, this is simply not enough to address their feelings. This stuff is out there, it should be addressed with each child, giving them a safe space to ask questions and explore.

Some children may just have the curiosity of what they saw and nothing more. If adults don't address it and try to hide sexual orientation or gender identity as if it is a dirty little secret, then we are shaming them before they even get a chance to ask questions about it.

Grooming

This is the part that really concerns me. I started hearing proponents for the bill say that those who were against the bill were "Groomers". I didn't know what that word meant and the more I heard it, I had to educate myself. Let me tell you - I don't like labels.

Grooming is when someone builds a relationship, trust, and emotional connection with someone so they can manipulate, exploit and/or abuse them.

Because parents want a safe place in school and want teachers to be able to teach sexual orientation or gender identity topics so that children can ask questions and get help if needed - this is somehow grooming? I don't think so.

This is a sad ploy by Republicans. Aww, but nice try. Republicans should look in their own house, they can find their own pedophiles - past and present. Trying to deflect that ANYONE against the bill is...LOL. Awww, really makes me laugh...Give me a minute to stop rolling on the floor...

Who is going to talk about it?

The best way to deal with any potential "issue" or rough patch - which, let's be honest, just all of childhood into the teenage years is filled with rough patches - is to talk about stuff. Be open about your experiences and hopefully you have someone wise to guide you in the right direction.

Most of us opened up to kids our own age, our journal, MAYBE a therapist, or an adult who we really trusted (that doesn't happen often). I certainly didn't talk to my parents. I switched schools a lot so I never connected with teachers, but that can happen - there are some amazing and caring teachers out there.

More States Follow Florida's Lead

First Florida. Then Alabama. Now, lawmakers in Ohio and Louisiana are considering legislation that mimics the Florida law. Even Texas.

At least a dozen states across the country are considering new legislation that will mirror Florida's new controversial law.

The specific details regarding the bills vary between states. But overall, they seek to prohibit schools from using a curriculum or discussing topics of sexual orientation or gender identity.

"When we segment children off and tell them that they don't exist and that they don't matter and effectively erase them from the classroom ... we effectively erase them," Kathryn Poe of Equality Ohio told NPR member station WKSU when the Ohio bill was proposed. "We alienate an entire group of young people who need our affirmation and support."

Suicide

Suicide is the tenth-leading cause of death in the United States. It is the second-leading cause of death for adolescents ages 10-14 globally. It is the fourth-leading cause of death for adolescents ages 15-19 globally.

Actual suicide rates among LGBTQ people are not known because sexual orientation and gender identity are not reported in death records. What we do know about suicidality among LGBTQ people is through surveys in which people self-report suicide attempts and ideation

National LGBT Health Education Center. “Suicide Risk and Prevention for LGBTQ People.” (Boston, MA: The Fenway Institute, September 2018).

I believe that the teen suicide rate will go up because of this stifling bill. I hope I am wrong.

Final Thoughts

I am worried about our society and how we have become that of hypocrisy, hate and vitriol, and banning openness. If you are making a law to say you can't talk about...sex...really? Think about that?

Think about a time when you couldn't talk about a topic with anyone? You had to keep it to yourself. You were left to wonder if what you had was normal. Were your feelings normal? Did other people feel and think this way? What about...?

Now think about a time when you were curious about a topic and you felt comfortable talking about it and asking questions. What is Wrestling? What is this funny looking hard thing, what is that for? Is it used by other wrestlers? Does everyone get this close when they wrestle? That makes me feel weird. Why do I have to put that thing in my mouth? I don't want to do that. What about the weight levels...?

Which do you prefer? The one who has to figure it out on their own, maybe even get ridiculed and bullied or the one who came to you and asked questions, because they felt comfortable to do so. The "Parental Rights in Education" bill will most likely cause the first case, but that is just my opinion.

I would like to offer a site I came across during the research of this article. LGBTQIA+ Health Education Center provides no-cost educational materials on latest developments, issues, and best practices in providing affirming LGBTQIA+ healthcare, by leading researchers and clinicians from across the country.