Why is respect so important? Having the respect of others is important because it helps us to feel safe and to express ourselves openly without reserve. Respect means that you accept someone for who they are, even when they are different from you, or you do not agree with them.
What does respect look like?
Think about different situations where you have to get along with others. How do you know if there is respect in your relationship?
Do you feel safe being around each other?
Do you know it is ok for both of you to express who you are?
When you disagree, do you listen to each other and remain patient?
Neither of you controlling the other person's choices?
Do you both allow the other person space if they need it?
Can you both admit when you have made a mistake?
If you cannot answer yes to all of the above questions, consider working on the respect in those relationships.
Sometimes we find ourselves not feeling respected by other people, including family and friends. Here are some things you can do for yourself.
Show Respect
Show what respect looks like by being respectful to others. Even if someone is being rude to you, do not bring yourself down to that level. Tell the person what they are doing specifically that is not ok. Try to understand their point of view. Give that person a chance to change their behavior toward you. It's ok to end a friendship with people if they cannot be respectful.
Respect Yourself
Do not forget to respect yourself. Remember that you are valued, and you matter. What you think and feel is just as important as what anyone else thinks and feels. If someone else tells you otherwise, they are trying to manipulate you into quieting your important voice. Ending a relationship that is not respectful is a way of respecting yourself.
What does it look like when someone respects you?
On the flip side, you may not even realize that a friend or co-worker, who truly respects you, has been giving you the what-for for some time and you are thinking they just keep nagging you or only give you criticism. Most times, you need to hear the 'bad' stuff to help you get better instead of all the 'fluff' and superfluous flattery that doesn't help you. When you are respected:
They are honest with you (respectfully).
They are willing to disagree with you (respectfully).
They don't waste your time.
They ask your opinion.
They keep their word to you.
They are honest with you
Respecting someone means never lying to them, and it also means not sugarcoating the truth. People who respect you will offer praise when it’s deserved, and give constructive criticism when it’s needed, because they know you want to understand how to improve.
They are willing to disagree with you
Someone who likes you might just agree with everything you say hoping you will like them back. People who respect you will understand that you have different opinions and might not always agree but can still appreciate your viewpoint. They also aren’t afraid that you will crumble when challenged.
They don't waste your time
Someone who respects you understands that your time is valuable and is not going to use you or string you along. This goes for everything from not forcing you to attend unproductive meetings at work to letting you know on date two that there is no relationship potential.
They ask your opinion
I think we are all a bit picky about who we take advice from. If someone’s asking for yours, it means they think you are doing some things right and they would like to be more like you.
They keep their word to you
Someone who respects you is going to deliver on things they say they wiil, whether it’s showing up to an event or delivering a project at work. Someone who respects you generally wants you to respect them, too, so they will do things to earn it.
Respect in your relationships builds trust and the feelings of safety. Respect is something that’s earned. And earning someone’s respect is one of the best feelings in the world. So how do you know when someone really respects you?
Look for the signs.
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